When Bad Houses Happen to Good People

Michael and Melissa share stories today about the crazy things they see in Washington DC, Northern Virginia and Maryland houses on their tours with buyer clients.

Melissa opens by recalling a showing in Capitol Hill where the stairs to the basement were not attached to the wall of the house. While she and her clients felt like they were in a scene from Silence of the Lambs, the owners of the home were upstairs cooking a tray of sausages.

Michael tells a story about what a house filled with floor to ceiling mold entails. They had to wear face masks, and they were greeted by a refrigerator on its side on the counter - but good news! There was an indoor pool…kind of. The basement was filled with a foot of black water. Michael then discusses how to winterize a house and how important it is to hire a plumber.

Back to Melissa with a story of a house where someone living there had shut off the water and was using the water delivery jugs as their toilet. Michael tops it with his story of stumbling into a possible sex dungeon in the attic space of a home he was showing to a client.

Then there’s the saga of listing a condo upstairs from where a very high profile DC crime occurred and was covered by many news sources. While Melissa was trying to sell it for her clients, pictures of the building kept appearing on the front page of the Washington Post with updates on case.

They discuss how houses have many secrets. They can be haunted, harbor squatters who run out the back door when you enter and how it can be downright dangerous to enter people’s homes - especially if they pull a gun on you.

Michael learns there is a Wawa just a few blocks from the office and that you can’t buy x-rated magazines at a Sheetz, and Melissa learns that the bottles filled with yellow liquid on the sides of the roads are NOT filled with lemonade. People pee in them and then toss them from their car. She also reconsiders her carefree approach to opening doors in houses after Michael tells enough stories of what he has found behind closed doors.